The longer I dwell into this summer of discount-ent the less entertaining my life seems to become. And for that, all I can say is sorry, I suppose. Sorry for clicking that link. Sorry for going on my facebook. Sorry for making eye-contact in first year English and we've kept in touch ever since. I promise my life will get more interesting - or at least I hope it does -when I move to Glasgow in September. Then the blog will be more worthy of your attention, rather than the celebration of moaning and small-town hatred against supermarkets. As it stands the title of my blog, "Meh", seems rather fitting.
In the mean time, in the past seven days I have grown to accept Morrisons and the way of life it embraces. What is the point of me getting all emo (because, despite my hamster cheeks I am not 14 anymore) about what is pretty much a summer job? Exactly. Besides sometimes it's actually good banter because I'm not the only one in in this position. Interestingly enough, due to the sharpest edges of cardboard boxes my arms are now cut to shreds in suspicious patterns. If I could just find my old Bullet For My Valentine t-shirt then I'd look quite the Kerrang poster boy. And as I type Underoath come on shuffle on my iPod. It's like my past is trying to draw me back to the old days. No, I say, no! At this point the soundtrack to my blog-writing session has changed to Florence + the Machine's single "Rabbit Heart". Quite possibly my favourite song at the moment. I have come to the conclusion that if life gives you AIDS, make lemonade. Not that I am suggesting for one second that working is Morrisons is anything like having AIDS...
Recently I have been working increasingly frequent shifts in the Wines and Spirits (Booze eh!) department at work. It has it's upsides to the Fish Bar (that's right, a Bar) in the fact that I don't smell half as bad as previously after a shift, and that I don't half to cut anything or myself. The downside is my persevering body odour is far more recognisable and my shaky hands has lead to the occasional dropping of precious alcohol. The other day I dropped a box of blue WKD. The most annoying part is that for the rest of my shift my feet smelt of Clubland. If Mozart had the ability to confuse senses (for example, to him a sound could be very green since he visualised a colour when he heard a noise) then I think I could have the same problem. When I got a whiff of my shoes the song "Disco Lights" by Darren Styles. I want to go out every night oh....
I can't afford to go out every night. I couldn't afford to go out on Saturday night. But I did, for it was Cara's 18th birthday dinner. It was overall a decent night, though town was fairly quiet for T in the Park was on, but she seemed to like the Justice CD I got her. With pay day not until Friday my current financial position lies at a minus, which is less than healthy.
Which is why it's really good that TV has got really good again. Tuesday night brought "You Have Been Watching", a programme hosted by Charlie Brooker. You might have seen that I have mentioned Brooker in previous blogs. Personally, he is one of the funniest writers I know of. So to see him on TV discussing a street fight between the IRA and the Taliban -I know this falls into the "You have to see it to appreciate this blah blah blah category" - was really quite funny. I have his books, just ask if you want a lend. The only downside of the show was that Jamelia was on the show. She offered the comic value of a teenage "Save the Trees" activist, too old to patronise but too young to slap in the face. She was surplus on the show. But then again, so were the other two panelists. They should just rename it "The Charlie Brooker Show". It would be a lot better. "Mock the Week" also returned this week after what feels like an eternal absence. I'm so glad it's back, I missed Frankie Boyle's outlook on the world. But Andy Parsons (ie the bald one) is still there? I think he's the only one keeping score because all he does is answer the topical question correctly. Any chance of replacing him with Charlie Brooker?
Which is why it's really good that TV has got really good again. Tuesday night brought "You Have Been Watching", a programme hosted by Charlie Brooker. You might have seen that I have mentioned Brooker in previous blogs. Personally, he is one of the funniest writers I know of. So to see him on TV discussing a street fight between the IRA and the Taliban -I know this falls into the "You have to see it to appreciate this blah blah blah category" - was really quite funny. I have his books, just ask if you want a lend. The only downside of the show was that Jamelia was on the show. She offered the comic value of a teenage "Save the Trees" activist, too old to patronise but too young to slap in the face. She was surplus on the show. But then again, so were the other two panelists. They should just rename it "The Charlie Brooker Show". It would be a lot better. "Mock the Week" also returned this week after what feels like an eternal absence. I'm so glad it's back, I missed Frankie Boyle's outlook on the world. But Andy Parsons (ie the bald one) is still there? I think he's the only one keeping score because all he does is answer the topical question correctly. Any chance of replacing him with Charlie Brooker?
T in the Park was on over the weekend, and from sources (ie Cameron) it was pretty amazing. I could give it the same scrutiny as I did with Glastonbury a few weeks back. It would be so easy, all I would have to do is add "Here we, here we, here we fucking go!" every couple of sentences. They - I use "they" rather than "we" because I hate the chant - love that phrase up here. I still don't know why.
The festival also bring with it a festival in it's own dedicated to T-related headlines in the tabloids. It's so predictable. It's always "T-reffic" or "QualiT". See if it was average would the headline be "mediocriT"? I doubt it. I challenge the red-tops to be more creative. They probably won't.
Anyways, there goes my life again. As it stands I have no plans for the following week other than serving my time for the big M. Hopefully something crops us before next Monday so I can be entertaining.
DC
"this summer of discount-ent"
ReplyDeleteloving the literary references david, keep up the good work.