Shift of emphasis a must for change.

Hey,

So, another World Cup, another defeat then for Ingerland. One thing which seems different this time around is that the ready-made scapegoat, Frank Lampard's clear goal, has been kept in it's box. Heck, I doubt they are even going to take it out of it's packaging. No point, really. Germany were youthful, vibrant, energetic and creative. I don't think any of those words could be applied to England yesterday. What is important is that, rather than blame isolated incidents on failure, English football has had to re-evaluate it's position in the world of football. The best league in the world? Possibly, but is a poor national side a price worth paying? Fans probably wouldn't mind seeing chances given to younger players, but one would wonder if investors would feel the same. The bleak reality is, as much as we would like to believe, football is not about the supporters anymore, it is about the chequebook. Or chip and pin, I guess, if you hate outdated clichés. You know, like "England are the better team on paper". For more information, see Alan Hansen.

We speak of grass-roots football, yet we continue to play during the time of year in which, ironically, there is not much grass to play on at all. The continuation of the football calendar throughout the frankly awful months of December and January is holding English (and Scottish I must add) back. I can only think of two reasons why they continue to play throughout the worst of winter; nostalgia for the FA Cup third round and money. Stupid, stupid money.

Now, The FA and others will disagree with the final point, for it is that the football calendar is simply too congested to allow a four-week break in the middle of it. But I reckon I have a solution, or at least, a possible solution; The Carling Cup. If a Conservative administration were to start slashing the FA, I'm pretty convinced that the Carling Cup would face the metaphorical axe. The reasons are as follows;

1) It takes it up time.
From late September onwards, the Carling Cup takes up most of the English non-European midweek slots. To compound this the semi-finals, more often than not competed amongst "bigger teams", are over two-legs, taking up even more time as well as the final on a Sunday. These mid-week slots could be used for League matches, to maintain the tradition of FA Cup matches being played on a Saturday. Or whenever the television channels says.

2) Does anyone actually like it?
I'm not too sure if anyone actually takes the Carling Cup seriously. We know Arsene Wenger doesn't, judging from his team selection in recent seasons. Unlike the FA Cup, which has a heritage to cling on to, the Carling Cup simply doesn't have that much of a history. Formed in 1960, no one can really think of a "classic" League Cup moment. Leicester won it a couple of times, I think? A final at Wembley is nice, but the reward for winning the trophy is a place in the Europa League. If they had the choice between a lump sum and a place in the Europa League, I'm pretty sure most teams would take the money.

3) We shouldn't be scared of change.
If UEFA can change the final of the Champions League to a Saturday, introduce extra officials and dissolve the Cup Winners' Cup (remember that?) then stopping the Carling Cup doesn't seem that big a deal. Other countries, like Italy, Spain and Germany (ironic) only have the one major domestic cup competition. It just makes sense.

Overall, I understand the hypocrisy of using the Carling Cup as a scapegoat for England's demise, when I started my argument by saying that this blame culture was over. Yet, to me, it would emphasise a change in priorities from the money men to the what the FA should care the most about, their national team.

DC
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England are poor. But at least they aren't French.

Hey,

So the World Cup is going on the now and, if we are honest, it's been a bit shit. It's not been bad, but when a tournament recieves as much hype as this one has, you hope for better. Even Brazil play with two holding midfielders. Of course, they bloody go and score three against Ivory Coast, contradicting everything I have/will write in this blog. But I'm going to carry on regardless of what Luis Fabiano decides to do.

England have been poor, and because I'm Scottish I should be really happy about this shouldn't I? Well, no. Personally, I don't like this "A.B.E." (Anyone But England) attitude that many in this country has. It's embarassing, really, this mindset. It's embedded in our culture, in our national anthem. Is it really bad for a nation to build it's identity around the hatred of another country? That answer should be rhetorical.

Rather, I fall under the term "Semi Final Scot". No, it's a form of erectile disfunction. Rather, it means to support England to a certain extent, but cannot bare the prospect of hearing about it for the rest of their lives if they did what now appears to be unlikely; to win the World Cup. After all, I am a quarter English (Childs, surprisingly, doesn't have a tartan). England still have this imperialist attitude, that it is somehow all about them, this World Cup included. It is not like this., They should have realised when distance from goal became metres and not yards. Does any other country use yards anymore? Only on a football pitch, I suspect.

The most annoying thing about the World Cup for me hasn't been the vuvuzelas, or the ball (which, just for the record, is just a ball) or defence's victory over attack, but it has been France. In a nutshell, they have been, well, French really. Argumentative, incompetent, selfish and lazy are just some of the words that can be used to describe the team in the tournament. What's worst about it is that France are their at Ireland's expense, unfairly too. The irony, that they lost to Mexico who play in emerald green, is not lost on me. The sooner their flight to France to join Nicholas Anelka, the better I say.

At the same time, when it's over, I'm going to miss it. When the World Cup is on you take it for granted; not only are you watching some of the best footballers in the world, but there is just so much of it. Three games a day is not a right, it's a privelege. Even if it is Honduras versus Switzerland. Even if it's France.

DC
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Behind the bike shed?

Hey, 


Did anyone see Danny Alexander be a big boy and stand up to those nasty Opposition men in Parliament? Och, didn't he do well! I'm surprised he manage to stand at all, what with his lack of spine and/or genitals. 


Harsh? Possibly. But in my opinion it is valid, although maybe not in as crude a way as I had put it. I think it's just because what he has become is the principally the exact opposite of what he and his party used to represent.  The cuts that he announced, and more importantly when they will be cut, were not what many Liberals voted for. I doubt many will vote Liberal Democrats again. The shift in political ideology has happened far too easily, along with many other key Liberal policies, most notably Trident and nuclear power. Cutting funds for a hospital surely breaks the promise of protecting the front line I would have guessed?


Watching him announce these "austerity" cuts was just a bit embarrassing,    for both the viewer and, one fears, Alexander himself. The way he rolled through the list of cuts struck an image of a geek announcing how many girls he has pulled. This simile comes to mind as it's impact was one of both surprise and shock. Suspending funds for the Health Research Support Service? May as well of said he "got off" with Jenny round the back of the bike sheds when he was 14. Nobody really knew he had it in him, is the point I'm trying to get at here.


The sad thing is I should be proud of Alexander, a former pupil of my High School. Yet all I can think is that Charles Kennedy, another former pupil of Lochaber High School (my Dad's year at school, just saying) could destroy Alexander in a debate, yet won't have a chance because of principal and his past. Danny Alexander would be food and drink for Kennedy. Well, maybe not drink....


I suppose the biggest irony is that, in canvassing as the voice of "New Politics" during the election, the actions of the Liberal Democrats since then has effectively meant a return to two-party politics. As Liam Byrne said, "In five minutes this afternoon you have reversed three years of Liberal Democratic policy of which you were the principal author. What a moment of abject humiliation."


How very true. 


DC 
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Have you ever heard of a politician from Ghana?

I don't know if you listen to Radio 5live or not. If you don't, I recommend you do, as it is probably the best radio station for sport and what not.

Yesterday they had somebody in a village in the Ethiopian Highlands, who asked the local boys, probably no older than ten years old, about football. Although their English wasn't the best and despite living in a remote part of Africa, they knew an awful lot about football. They knew that Terry's form wasn't great recently, Drogba plays better for Chelsea than the Ivory Coast and that Mourinho was the reason that Inter won the Champions League.

It was incredible to hear these kids on the radio. People say that football is just a game, and in many respects they are right; noone dies because a team has won or lost, and, dare I say it, there are more important things in the world other that football. But at the same time football has a way to connect people together the way not much else can. Whilst in Italy recently I couldn't speak a word of the native tongue, yet I had a twenty minute conversation (no exaggeration) about Eto'o and Scottish teams. I doubt I could have an argument regarding the economy with these locals. Simon Barnes, in his book "The Meaning of Sport", he argues the significance of football. How many people can name a politician in Ghana? But how many people know who Michael Essien is? Bad role models they may be labelled, but footballers can do alot more work for charities and general diplomacy than a poet could. The success of Soccer Aid on Sunday proves this. It just makes you wonder, however, how much more footballers could do? I'm pretty sure somebody who even donated half of their year salary to UNICEF would be in contention for very high praise. Even John Terry.

Can Neil Lennon be Celtic's David Miliband?

With the appointment of Neil Lennon as Celtic's latest manger today, one begins to see startling similarities between the fortunes of the Glasgow club, and the Labour Party. Although it is purely coincidental Celtic play in the city where Labour are at their strongest (during the electioneering Gordon Brown received hero-like status on a trip to the city) the links between the two institutions are often merged. 

Dr John Reid, former Home Secretary under the last Labour Administration recently became chairman of Celtic. But there is much more to it than that. Firstly, both the party and the football team have similar origins; to help those of poorer backrounds. Celtic were a charity formed by Brother Walfred for Irish economic migrants to the city, and Labour have always been strongest in working-class areas such as Glasgow. The Celtic ethos, that of a united "family" epitomised through the huddle, echoes the definition of socialism, even if it is slightly.

At their peak, in the 1960s, Celtic were one of the best teams in the world. The "Lisbon Lions" who won the European Cup in 1967 and nine league titles under Jock Stein. They were formidable. Post-war society was also blooming, with the strength of the Welfare State in the UK and Socialism proving to be a serious alternative to Capitalism in the Soviet Union under Khrushchev. 

Celtic's worse period in history was the late 80s and early 90s, when not much went right for The Hoops. Rangers domination of the domestic game cultivated in their famous "nine in a row", matching the feat of Jock Stein's team earlier on in the century. Finances were in disarray, teetering on administration with the prospect of renaming the club to Celtic United a possibility, had it not been for Fergus McCann. Celtic Park and the infamous "Jungle" part of the ground was dangerously outdated in the post-Hillsborough climate. It feels more than coincidental that this all happened during Thatcherism, and that Celtic stopped Rangers achieving ten league titles in 1997/98, the year New Labour came into power.

Bar the 1999/2000 season, which involved as many disasters as a dodgy dossier, the past decade had been kind to Celtic. League titles were regular, and when they weren't it was down to the last game of the season. European football was frequent, including an European final. And yet this season was so, so bad. Lowlights such as the 4-0 defeat to St.Mirren has meant a change, a revamp for Celtic. Replace "Celtic" with "Labour" and "4-0 defeat to St.Mirren" with "lost a general election" and the lines between the two begin to blur.

That they have gone for Neil Lennon is interesting; a young man who lacks experience as a leader but knows the institution well and has plenty experience in European competitions. It sounds a bit like David Miliband, doesn't it? Whilst the Conservatives and Rangers sort out their finances, it will be intriguing to see how it all figures out for Celtic and Labour who are both missing the power they once had.

Remember when Scotland qualified for World Cups?

Unfortunately for me due to my nation's shocking recent form and and my date of birth, I have only seen Scotland in one major tournament. To compound that, I was only seven at the time and in primary two, meaning the grandness of the occasion was frankly lost on me.

What this has meant, as a result, is that Scotland hasn't had a World Cup song in a long time. Which is a shame because our last one was actually pretty good. "Don't Come Home Too Soon" by Del Amitri sums up Scottish attitude to near enough anything and it's modesty is refreshing compared to the more recent the-trophy-belongs-to-us mentality of English attempts.

Del Amitri - "Don't Come Home Too Soon"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9Lf6P_zPO4

At the same time, this is an example of when World Cup songs are as misleading as North Korean match highlights...

Ally's Army - 1978

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipGLYAxcenQ

English attempts at World Cup songs tend to be poor, a musical equivalent of a cheap St.George flag flying outside a taxi. It might be because of Capello's modesty, or a general rejection of crap music by the public (Simon Cowell not getting Christmas Number 1 this year and Eurovision being, well, Eurovision) that this year Dizzee Rascal, a professional musician, has taken Tears For Fears "Shout" and enhanced it. Good work Mr Rascal.

"Shout" - Dizzee Rascal and James Corden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGrqjZJxQfM

Happy birthday Blog! Have some cake or something.

Hey,

So, ultimately I didn't go to RockNess at the weekend, which means this anniversary edition of the blog is not nearly as interesting as perhaps it should have been. In all honesty, the thought of being drunk in a field fails to gain attractiveness. I know there is more to it than that, but if you really like a band why don't you just go and buy a ticket for a tour or something along those lines. Pendulum were really good, but we all knew that they would be. I know because I saw them a year or so ago in Glasgow with the added bonus of having a bed to go to at the end of the night. The fact that it was raining on the Sunday was the final nail in my coffin of decision making. Am I a size 12 blouse, or just a cynical old man? I'm going to go for cynical old git, I don't suit blouses.

Speaking of cynical folk, somebody who I write about often, Charlie Brooker is getting married. This is surprising for many reasons;

* His apparent ease with bachelorhood which, if anything, has grown to define him
* Rumours of him being supposedly being homosexual, backed up with his fashionable, if not ridiculous, haircut
* His fiancée being Konnie Huq

That's right. Konnie. Fucking. Huq. I have nothing against her, just for the record; she was one of the many faces of my childhood, along with Jason from Power Rangers, the bald guy from Crystal Maze and the creepy one from "Shakespeare's Sister". I actually met Konnie Huq once, when I was nine, and she was really nice. Couldn't pronounce "Lochaber" (for some reason English folk always add an unnecessary "r" into the equation). It's just really, really weird is all. Brooker taught me how to criticise television and the like; Huq taught me how to build a Tracey Island replica from washing up bottles. It's just odd, I suppose.

The World Cup is going on, as you probably know, and it's been a bit shit. I'm surprised I'm saying this, because I love football. It's good, normally, but a few things are getting in the way. Or should I say, ears.

That's right, vuvuzelas. Apparently, "vuvuzela" is Afrikaans for "really annoying trumpety thing". It's such a nuisance. If a goal is scored you hear "ERH!!". Someone sent off? "ERH!!". Somebody just completed a game of tetris? "ERH!!".  What has kept me going through the tournament (for which I see most games due to bar work but, thankfully I do not hear) is the prospect of North Korea playing and it's purely for political reasons. Basically, throughout my life I have only known democracy/capitalism and all that it brings. For this, I blame Gorbachev. So now, anything that differs from the norm I am intrigued in. The secrecy surrounding them made them appealing, I guess. So in a way, I was impressed by their performance tonight. I wanted to buy their jersey but I can not find it anywhere. I had to settle for a Partick Thistle shirt instead, because I'm really rebelious. Let's see how I fare getting through customs with a Jags top on eh!

Before I go, happy birthday blog! It's pretty weird that this is a year gone-by, it has just flown by! I promise to keep writing when I go back to Glasgow in September this time. Promise!

Thanks for reading it so far,

DC
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Remember when I used to review television shows?

Hey,

I'm in bed whilst writing this, at 12.12pm. I wish I wasn't, because the reason I'm here is due to illness. I'm not sure what it is yet? Flu? Cold? Hayfever? Whatever it is it's probably worse than pregnancy. Trust me, it's so bad I have cancelled half-marathon training for the day.

Anyways, the other day I was looking through the previous blog entries (there is over sixty now, startling) and came across my brief attempts at reviewing television. I didn't realise the irony of reviewing television whilst not actually owning a television until now. Anyway, I am back in Fort William, where I now own a TV, so it seems fitting to make a return to trying to be Brooker whilst inadvertently sounding more like the other Ross brother. Y'know, the one which doesn't have all that money?

Firstly, a long-term favourite of mine, Waterloo Road , a drama based around a secondary school "up north" in Rochdale. Where it is not as nice as private school, as we were led to believe. Essentially, the school is an example of Sod's Law, especially when there are things of a chemical nature, just lying about, as you do. So far there has been;

* A caravan exploding, Brainiac-esq

* A boy getting pure sodium (or something similar) in his eyes during a field trip to a farm

* A girl trying to remove a birth mark using bleach from the Chemistry classroom

* A depressed teacher accidentally setting the kitchen on fire

* Kids trying to make their own alcohol from ethanol.

To me, it is just a bit lazy, really. Which is a shame, because the storylines are generally, if not predictable, interesting nonetheless. How they managed to fit a lesbian-teacher crush before watershed most of involved some bargaining, hopefully out of the "chemistry-related-disaster" budget. Also, if you don't know who is in Waterloo Road, it is in essence a collaboration of Loose Women and Grange Hill from three or four years ago.

The BBC's apparent urge to promote young talent on Wednesdays continue with The Junior Apprentice. It is the same format as The Apprentice, only with "young entrepreneurs" being shouted over by the narrator and how "Lord Sugar" has backed them since the beginning of time/capitalism.

It is actually a good show, and it avoids the problematic issue of making the show entertaining without being patronising towards the contestants. Watching it is only disheartening when you realise that these kids will more than certainly do better in life than I ever will, the cynical guy who hides behind a laptop slagging off television programs. It is like the day you go to a football and the boy upfront is younger than you. Celtic are never going to sign me, are they?

Just because they are young doesn't mean that some of them aren't tools of the highest order, though. Names allude me at this moment, but the girl "whose parents are both artists, her brother is an artist and has been going to art exhibitions" has the capability to change an art exhibition turn from a exhibit of an artist into an exhibit of herself. It is quite a talent, as is the ability to think the exact opposite of what her facial reactions suggest. I hope she goes on tonight's show. As for contestants I like, there is the "wee Scottish girl" for nationalistic reasons, and Arjen, the human calculator. The most interesting aspect of the show is how different people can look, even though they are all roughly the same age. Tim looks like he could be some of the other kids' father. Sadly, if they are to succeed in business, they will probably all have to gain a thick skin and a twat exterior. And seeing that occur on television to young people is kind of disheartening.

And finally, Blue Mountain State. It's hard to explain, but it's about the antics of a college football team. It is the intellectual equivalent of chinning a can of beer and then ramming it against your forehead. It's online, so you can find it somewhere, if you want to know what that feels like.

DC

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Blog Neglect.

Hey,

So, fair to say I have been quite guilty of blog neglect, and for that I am really sorry. Yes I am. Have you missed my ignorant, biased, one-sided opinions on politics, life and whatnot? Thought so.

Truth be told the last few weeks have been fairly uneventful; this coalition is still in its early days, much in the same way The Times are experimenting with a subscription-based website. Nothing really feels different yet, not until this emergency budget comes into effect. This current period is the anaesthetic before the big surgery on the country's finances. It's still going to hurt, though.

To be fair to David Cameron, he has dealt with the problems he has faced during the first few weeks of office well.

His reaction following the Whitehaven tragedy was assuring, rejecting populist claims of a review of gun licenses in the UK (I'm not that much of a left-wing tool am I?). After all, what happened in Whitehaven could of happened anywhere, regardless of what legislation is in placed.

The murdering of the prostitutes in Bradford was dealt with a sense of decorum, although he did say that tougher measures on curb-crawlers were needed. To be honest, I thought murder was as tough a measure as could be expected... (I retract the previous statement regarding me being a tool).

Anyways, politicians are all going on their summer holidays shortly anyway, so I'm sure my post-election drivel will effervesce like the salts in Chandler Bing's bath. So shall I talk about my life now? Yeah OK!

Well, lots of stuff is happening, really. I don't work at Morrisons anymore. Shocking stuff I know, but as of now I am working in a pub. It's good like. Rockness is also looming, and despite saying that I wouldn't go, turns out I'm going to go on the Sunday now. The Strokes and Blondie should be alright, never heard of them to be honest though.

Here's the weird thing; next week, after my annual trip to Dores which I will review most likely on this blog, will mark the one year anniversary of this blog. Remember the first one? Oh nostalgia...

ps I'm gonna try and run a half marathon. Seriously. I've bought trainers and everything, so watch this space.

DC

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