Hey,
Excuse me for the lateness of my blog on this subject, but this Raoul Moat thing got a wee bit out of hand didn't it? From the seeds of a "tribute" page on Facebook grew a monster; evidence being the response of David Cameron during Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday, Question Time on Thursday and The Sun's campaign to find who started the group by Friday.
They clearly don't go online that often do they, these politician folk. Raoul Moat is not the hero of the poor, white, lower classes as George Galloway described on Question Time this week. He is just the latest in a line of evil people who have been the latest thing to joke about. And besides, how can we take the situation seriously if Paul Gascoigne is involved?
I don't know whether to be worried or excited about the day they discover Sickipedia or TrueLad. Stuff like this Facebook page have been going about for ages - when previously you got those awful jokes from someone at work or school on your phone, you now get with ease from these sites. Actually, there is an entire database of jokes that you would never find on TV (bar Frankie Boyle or, God forbid, Jim Davidson) for you to enjoy, for want of a better word. To see a group about Moat wasn't unusual for me, it was the latest punchline.
I may be desensitised, because I was brought up with all this stuff, but this all seemed an overreaction. Stalin once said that,
"The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of a million is a statistic."
Now I'm not one to agree with Stalin. But this blunt assessment can be used to explain why some people outside of Northumberland failed to take this manhunt seriously. I have only been on this planet for nineteen years, but during that time I've experienced (indirectly, I might add, or else I'd be mentally buggered ) 9/11, July 7th bombings, Haiti, Columbine, Fritzl, Derrick Bird, two continuing wars and the Middle East in general, to name but a few. Nobody is denying that what happened was horrible, but when these things become decreasingly rare, it fails to have the same impact. Imagine if you had turkey for dinner every day and not just Christmas? It wouldn't be the same. Combine this with TV shows such as Family Guy and South Park - hardly the pinnacles of international diplomacy - and what you get is a generation which sees the events of recent days as an episode of 24 rather than something that could seriously harm them.
This I think is somewhat refreshing; in his book "The Hell of It All", Charlie Brooker notes how the vast majority of us will lead fairly dull lives, where these big disasters will not affect most of us. So the quicker we realise that we are not constantly at risk (thanks, Daily Mail et al) the better. So relax Mr Cameron, please.
DC
x
Sunday 18 July 2010
Tuesday 13 July 2010
Northern Ireland.
Hey,
The last couple of days have been spent in Northern Ireland, mainly in Moira and Lisburn. I think Lisburn is a city, and Moira is within the City of Lisburn, right? I'm not sure. Either way, most of my time in Northern Ireland, bar an afternoon in Belfast was spent in these places. Now, if you had been watching the news, you would probably be aware of the 12th July celebrations and I'm going to assume you know what the reasons for the 12th July and why they are, to put it nicely, controversial.
You've seen the coverage, the CCTV, the flutes, the fires, the orange, the injuries, the parades. You know what's happened. It's not nice.
This blog is a defence of Northern Ireland. I was in Northern Ireland for roughly four days, in which I stayed at my friend's house (Hutchy, here is your name drop, are you happy? I hope so!) in Lisburn, and, if we ignore the flags - they love their flags, those Irish - for most of the time I could've been in any part of the United Kingdom. The hospitality was great, my night out in Moira - a converted shed, true story - was really good. I say shed, it was a barn, with two floors, one of which was closed off. If you get the chance, go to the Four Trees there. It's lovely.
The thing is, Northern Ireland is not just any part of the United Kingdom; everything about it is unique, from the ethnicity, the political parties, devolution (or lack of), to the flags. I will not shut up about these flags! They are visually impressive, all orange and British and red-handed and what not. English folk may be used to them, because In-ger-land qualify for major football tournaments on a regular basis and it is an excuse for this excessive patriotism. But I am Scottish; we don't do football tournaments. Heck, we don't even do football most of the time. So this flag-obsession doesn't come naturally.
It's important to find humour in some of the things I saw or else we would all become so depressed with life that we would just go into self-induced comas from Sky News coverage. For instance, the orange marches have massive banners, which all contain the phrase "L.O.L". This means, to them, the Lodge of Something-that-I-couldn't-find-out-on-Wikipedia-before-I-wrote-this-blog. To most of us, however, this means "laugh out loud". If we are honest, if these flags have I.D.S.T on them, there might not be all of this trouble going on. After all, if deleted, it's still true.
Northern Ireland has it's problems, but what country doesn't? Luxembourg? Maybe. But who would want to live in Luxembourg? Luxembourg is only famous for, errr, I'm not sure what. Not being France? If you are going to visit Northern Ireland, the 12th July isn't ideal. But the centre of Belfast is a modern, vibrant place which can appeal to anyone. So overall, my point is, don't be put off by the scenes of the last few days, for if you do that you may as well rule out Rothbury. After all, they had Paul Gascoigne roaming free on Friday night.
DC
x
p.s. Congrats to Spain and especially Paul the Octopus, who successfully predicted the result once again (see previous blog). News has it he is going to retire now, which I worry is fancy talk for "calamari".
DC
x
The last couple of days have been spent in Northern Ireland, mainly in Moira and Lisburn. I think Lisburn is a city, and Moira is within the City of Lisburn, right? I'm not sure. Either way, most of my time in Northern Ireland, bar an afternoon in Belfast was spent in these places. Now, if you had been watching the news, you would probably be aware of the 12th July celebrations and I'm going to assume you know what the reasons for the 12th July and why they are, to put it nicely, controversial.
You've seen the coverage, the CCTV, the flutes, the fires, the orange, the injuries, the parades. You know what's happened. It's not nice.
This blog is a defence of Northern Ireland. I was in Northern Ireland for roughly four days, in which I stayed at my friend's house (Hutchy, here is your name drop, are you happy? I hope so!) in Lisburn, and, if we ignore the flags - they love their flags, those Irish - for most of the time I could've been in any part of the United Kingdom. The hospitality was great, my night out in Moira - a converted shed, true story - was really good. I say shed, it was a barn, with two floors, one of which was closed off. If you get the chance, go to the Four Trees there. It's lovely.
The thing is, Northern Ireland is not just any part of the United Kingdom; everything about it is unique, from the ethnicity, the political parties, devolution (or lack of), to the flags. I will not shut up about these flags! They are visually impressive, all orange and British and red-handed and what not. English folk may be used to them, because In-ger-land qualify for major football tournaments on a regular basis and it is an excuse for this excessive patriotism. But I am Scottish; we don't do football tournaments. Heck, we don't even do football most of the time. So this flag-obsession doesn't come naturally.
It's important to find humour in some of the things I saw or else we would all become so depressed with life that we would just go into self-induced comas from Sky News coverage. For instance, the orange marches have massive banners, which all contain the phrase "L.O.L". This means, to them, the Lodge of Something-that-I-couldn't-find-out-on-Wikipedia-before-I-wrote-this-blog. To most of us, however, this means "laugh out loud". If we are honest, if these flags have I.D.S.T on them, there might not be all of this trouble going on. After all, if deleted, it's still true.
Northern Ireland has it's problems, but what country doesn't? Luxembourg? Maybe. But who would want to live in Luxembourg? Luxembourg is only famous for, errr, I'm not sure what. Not being France? If you are going to visit Northern Ireland, the 12th July isn't ideal. But the centre of Belfast is a modern, vibrant place which can appeal to anyone. So overall, my point is, don't be put off by the scenes of the last few days, for if you do that you may as well rule out Rothbury. After all, they had Paul Gascoigne roaming free on Friday night.
DC
x
p.s. Congrats to Spain and especially Paul the Octopus, who successfully predicted the result once again (see previous blog). News has it he is going to retire now, which I worry is fancy talk for "calamari".
DC
x
Thursday 8 July 2010
Never doubt the Octopus.
Hey,
What is rubbish about the World Cup is that everyone is interested. Does this make sense? Let me explain. Believe it or not, but not everyone likes football. It's true. Obviously I'm not one of those people, the prospect of watching Partick Thistle on a wet November night genuinely appeals to me. Well, not genuinely, but it's better than what will be on BBC Three that evening.
Thank God then, for Paul the Octopus, who has guessed the results of Germany's World Cup matches correctly every single time. He even guessed Germany would lose to Serbia (highly unlikely following Germany's opening 4-0 victory) and that they would beat England and Argentina. Sadly for the Germans, he predicted that they would lose to Spain. What I really like about this is that it highlights how worthless everyone's opinions, including my own, have been in this unpredictable World Cup. Why bother with your say when an octopus can predict what is going to happen?
What does slightly concern me however is the thought process behind Paul (have I just referred to an octopus by his first name? Oh my). Seriously, when and how did they think this up? Who thinks an octopus can predict results with his tentacles? It's stupendous, but almost charming, and ultimately it proves a penny for your thoughts are really all they are worth.
DC
x
What is rubbish about the World Cup is that everyone is interested. Does this make sense? Let me explain. Believe it or not, but not everyone likes football. It's true. Obviously I'm not one of those people, the prospect of watching Partick Thistle on a wet November night genuinely appeals to me. Well, not genuinely, but it's better than what will be on BBC Three that evening.
Not everyone likes football, but most people take an interest in the World Cup. It is one of the few things that can unite a nation; South Africa, as a fine host, has gathered much pride from this tournament and the World Cup winning side of 1998 helped race relations in France with a team that contained many of immigrant descent - the most notable being Zinedine Zidane.
Therefore public interest in football, albeit for a month, is heightened somewhat. TV ratings for England matches during the World Cup were roughly 20 million, compared to six million viewers ITV would expect for a Champions League match involving an English team. Ultimately, three times as many people care about football, but this means they also have opinions, and their opinions are pretty much pointless. How can they honestly care about Rob Green's form when they don't have a clue what team he plays for? Infact, how dare they have an opinion on my sport? This feeling of disgust (and snobbery, awful, sporting snobbery) is similar to that I felt during the General Election, politics and football are exclusively my things, so go away please. For people not interested in football, the only thing I can compare it to is when your favourite band makes it big. They are no longer your band as such, but everyone likes them, making yourself slightly less unique. And that, my friend, hurts.
Thank God then, for Paul the Octopus, who has guessed the results of Germany's World Cup matches correctly every single time. He even guessed Germany would lose to Serbia (highly unlikely following Germany's opening 4-0 victory) and that they would beat England and Argentina. Sadly for the Germans, he predicted that they would lose to Spain. What I really like about this is that it highlights how worthless everyone's opinions, including my own, have been in this unpredictable World Cup. Why bother with your say when an octopus can predict what is going to happen?What does slightly concern me however is the thought process behind Paul (have I just referred to an octopus by his first name? Oh my). Seriously, when and how did they think this up? Who thinks an octopus can predict results with his tentacles? It's stupendous, but almost charming, and ultimately it proves a penny for your thoughts are really all they are worth.
DC
x
Sunday 4 July 2010
Piers Morgan on Shanghai, apparently.
Hey,
I am a man who is interested in politics. This we know. People often ask me "why do you like politics? It's rubbish. Personally I prefer chicken". To me, though, politics is everything (chicken included).
Take for example, my job in a pub: the price of the Tennents that we sell is affected by Government laws; it costs money for the alcohol to be delivered, as lorry company's charge according to running costs such as petrol, staff wages etc; a VAT increase increases expenditure on near enough everything, and staff would be affected by National Insurance contributions and tax. What I earn has to be in correlation with the National Minimum Wage, which not all countries have. The World Cup is on the television, but it is on terrestrial (if you can still call it that) because in this country it is an A-listed event. This means that Sky can't buy the rights like they did with the Premiership, and other A-listed events are events such as Wimbledon and Formula 1. This means that people can watch these events without having to go to fine public houses such as the one I work in.
This, to me, is politics. I also find stuff such like Communism interesting, the (probable only) alternative to capitalism and if it works. I studied the Soviet Union for a year and to see it's rise and fall was really interesting. Where the USSR collapsed under political reform, the regime in China was strengthened by changing the economic policy whilst keeping political freedoms limited.
So you can see that I was sort of looking forward to "Piers Morgan's Shanghai" which was on ITV last week. Could Piers do some great investigative journalism about China? Whether the system which cracked two decades ago in the Soviet Union is showing similar signs of strain?
In a nutshell, no. What we did find out is the following;
* In Shanghai, there is a Tesco, where you can buy live eels.
* Some people drink wine with coke.
* They are rubbish at football.
* He couldn't get onto YouTube, which annoyed him.
* David Beckham is famous.
And that's about it, really. They had some shots of poor people, compared to some very, very, very rich people. But this could of been done in any city, not just Shanghai. I shouldn't really be too harsh though, this was ITV's filler whilst the BBC had a football match on. It wasn't intended to be a serious documentary, if you wanted that I recommend John Simpson's documentary about the fairly unknown city of Chongqing, which has a population of about 30 million yet ten years ago it was about half the size of three start hotel. You have to love state planning. I shouldn't be too surprised, really. After all, Piers Morgan's interview with the former Prime Minister Gordon Brown involved some Paxman-esque questions such as whether he was part of the mile-high club (which was as awkward as the mental picture it created) and whether he got drunk at university. I don't need to know such details, not from him or anyone. Overall, it was interesting-ish in bits (the part about women having plastic surgery to look less oriental in particular) but I'm a cynical old git and it's easier to be grumpy.
DC
x
I am a man who is interested in politics. This we know. People often ask me "why do you like politics? It's rubbish. Personally I prefer chicken". To me, though, politics is everything (chicken included).
Take for example, my job in a pub: the price of the Tennents that we sell is affected by Government laws; it costs money for the alcohol to be delivered, as lorry company's charge according to running costs such as petrol, staff wages etc; a VAT increase increases expenditure on near enough everything, and staff would be affected by National Insurance contributions and tax. What I earn has to be in correlation with the National Minimum Wage, which not all countries have. The World Cup is on the television, but it is on terrestrial (if you can still call it that) because in this country it is an A-listed event. This means that Sky can't buy the rights like they did with the Premiership, and other A-listed events are events such as Wimbledon and Formula 1. This means that people can watch these events without having to go to fine public houses such as the one I work in.
This, to me, is politics. I also find stuff such like Communism interesting, the (probable only) alternative to capitalism and if it works. I studied the Soviet Union for a year and to see it's rise and fall was really interesting. Where the USSR collapsed under political reform, the regime in China was strengthened by changing the economic policy whilst keeping political freedoms limited.
So you can see that I was sort of looking forward to "Piers Morgan's Shanghai" which was on ITV last week. Could Piers do some great investigative journalism about China? Whether the system which cracked two decades ago in the Soviet Union is showing similar signs of strain?
In a nutshell, no. What we did find out is the following;
* In Shanghai, there is a Tesco, where you can buy live eels. * Some people drink wine with coke.
* They are rubbish at football.
* He couldn't get onto YouTube, which annoyed him.
* David Beckham is famous.
And that's about it, really. They had some shots of poor people, compared to some very, very, very rich people. But this could of been done in any city, not just Shanghai. I shouldn't really be too harsh though, this was ITV's filler whilst the BBC had a football match on. It wasn't intended to be a serious documentary, if you wanted that I recommend John Simpson's documentary about the fairly unknown city of Chongqing, which has a population of about 30 million yet ten years ago it was about half the size of three start hotel. You have to love state planning. I shouldn't be too surprised, really. After all, Piers Morgan's interview with the former Prime Minister Gordon Brown involved some Paxman-esque questions such as whether he was part of the mile-high club (which was as awkward as the mental picture it created) and whether he got drunk at university. I don't need to know such details, not from him or anyone. Overall, it was interesting-ish in bits (the part about women having plastic surgery to look less oriental in particular) but I'm a cynical old git and it's easier to be grumpy.
DC
x
Thursday 1 July 2010
Recap. And a Mid-Blog Crisis.
Hey,
So how have you been recently? Good? I certainly hope so, what with your dodgy ankle and that. Should probably lay off the treadmill for a while. And the pies. Whoops, Freudian slip there.
Yeah, I think it's time for a wee re-evaluation of Summer 2010; in a nutshell, it has been pretty good. I am no longer a fishmonger, but now a drinksmonger (not a word, but it is now, because I say so) at The Crofter. It's a nice pub, I recommend it.
It's a bit weird, looking back on last year's blog entries - the topic of discussion doesn't really differ really, general distress of working in a supermarket - since this year I don't really have much to complain about. I'm working, but it's actually quite good. I go on holiday to Belfast next week (incidentally whilst some marching is going on) and the World Cup is on. A lot. So life is fine. Which, unfortunately, means writing about how shit my life is is quite tricky really. This means I've tried to write about other things (sport, being a "leftie", television, etc) but it's just not the same. Is it a case in which for one to have a funny (or at least attempted humour) personal blog one must have a miserable life? It feels like it.
So what should I do people? It is said that for a record company to be successful it must sign bands of the same genre. Should I, if I want to be a journalist, just focus on one subject? And if so, what subject? I need answers people!
Help me out please,
DC
x
So how have you been recently? Good? I certainly hope so, what with your dodgy ankle and that. Should probably lay off the treadmill for a while. And the pies. Whoops, Freudian slip there.
Yeah, I think it's time for a wee re-evaluation of Summer 2010; in a nutshell, it has been pretty good. I am no longer a fishmonger, but now a drinksmonger (not a word, but it is now, because I say so) at The Crofter. It's a nice pub, I recommend it.
It's a bit weird, looking back on last year's blog entries - the topic of discussion doesn't really differ really, general distress of working in a supermarket - since this year I don't really have much to complain about. I'm working, but it's actually quite good. I go on holiday to Belfast next week (incidentally whilst some marching is going on) and the World Cup is on. A lot. So life is fine. Which, unfortunately, means writing about how shit my life is is quite tricky really. This means I've tried to write about other things (sport, being a "leftie", television, etc) but it's just not the same. Is it a case in which for one to have a funny (or at least attempted humour) personal blog one must have a miserable life? It feels like it.
So what should I do people? It is said that for a record company to be successful it must sign bands of the same genre. Should I, if I want to be a journalist, just focus on one subject? And if so, what subject? I need answers people!
Help me out please,
DC
x
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