Hey,
Not the best of weeks for dairy then, is it? First we are told that some of the milk we drink isn't from cows, but from something that used to be a cow but isn't a cow anymore. Or it could be, because we are told the milk is actually from a cow that is still a cow, not an artificial cow that used to be a cow but isn't anymore.You get that?
Yeah, I didn't either. In Dara O'Briain's book "Tickling the English" he divides the English/British public into two groups; pragmatics and romanticists. The pragmatic people just get on with their lives, whereas the romantics are rather eccentric; hysteria about the dangers of immigration and causes of cancer, reliving the "highlights" of that war we won against Germany all those years ago and all that. It all kind of sounds like that newspaper I don't really like. I like to think I am the former; basically, the world is overpopulated, with five billion more people on the planet than their was a century ago. This means that we need to find a way to feed all these people before Thomas Malthus's theory - that the world can only cater so many people before it's natural balance is restored through war, famine and disease - is drastically proved right. If this means that we need to create more cows, crops and cider artificially (OK, the last one is because I'm greedy) then so be it.
The European Union, has stated that there is nothing wrong with this milk, yet it hasn't stopped some. On a brief visit to the Daily Express website (my second favourite paper) I typed into the search engine "cow milk danger" which popped up a comment which said, "no wonder there is so much cancer". The right-wing is bloody rather funny sometimes.
Despite these "revelations" about these artificial cows (which sounds like a Jeremy Kyle-esque insult) I can't see why everyone is so surprised. I mean, they have been saying "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" for as long as I can remember. You silly people, if only you listened! I'm only surprises nobody has accused Kraft of doing this in a sick retaliation to the mess that "we" did to the Gulf of Mexico.
Secondly, rumour has it that the coalition could be abolishing free milk for children in schools. Sounds very familiar that, doesn't it? Sounds a bit like Thatcher, doesn't it? This highlights one thing; that the Tories really, and I mean really, do not like milk! Is everyone at Eton lactose intolerant? Does it make Boris Johnson "a bit gassy" or Theresa May's throat swell up? I don't know. But how can you have a "Big Society" without the friendly help of calcium to keep our kids strong? Tell me, Mr Gove!
They can of course just claim it is to cut another of these inefficiencies that those nasty free-spending Labour folk left behind that they have to sort out. But to cut something as symbolic during the Thatcher years as the free milk is just a bit too ideologically driven during these times. Besides, if it's because milk is quite expensive, I hear there is some quality artificial cow milk going about which is as cheap as ever the now.
DC
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