I'm in bed whilst writing this, at 12.12pm. I wish I wasn't, because the reason I'm here is due to illness. I'm not sure what it is yet? Flu? Cold? Hayfever? Whatever it is it's probably worse than pregnancy. Trust me, it's so bad I have cancelled half-marathon training for the day.
Anyways, the other day I was looking through the previous blog entries (there is over sixty now, startling) and came across my brief attempts at reviewing television. I didn't realise the irony of reviewing television whilst not actually owning a television until now. Anyway, I am back in Fort William, where I now own a TV, so it seems fitting to make a return to trying to be Brooker whilst inadvertently sounding more like the other Ross brother. Y'know, the one which doesn't have all that money?
Firstly, a long-term favourite of mine, Waterloo Road , a drama based around a secondary school "up north" in Rochdale. Where it is not as nice as private school, as we were led to believe. Essentially, the school is an example of Sod's Law, especially when there are things of a chemical nature, just lying about, as you do. So far there has been;
* A caravan exploding, Brainiac-esq
* A boy getting pure sodium (or something similar) in his eyes during a field trip to a farm
* A girl trying to remove a birth mark using bleach from the Chemistry classroom
* A depressed teacher accidentally setting the kitchen on fire
* Kids trying to make their own alcohol from ethanol.
To me, it is just a bit lazy, really. Which is a shame, because the storylines are generally, if not predictable, interesting nonetheless. How they managed to fit a lesbian-teacher crush before watershed most of involved some bargaining, hopefully out of the "chemistry-related-disaster" budget. Also, if you don't know who is in Waterloo Road, it is in essence a collaboration of Loose Women and Grange Hill from three or four years ago.
The BBC's apparent urge to promote young talent on Wednesdays continue with The Junior Apprentice. It is the same format as The Apprentice, only with "young entrepreneurs" being shouted over by the narrator and how "Lord Sugar" has backed them since the beginning of time/capitalism.
It is actually a good show, and it avoids the problematic issue of making the show entertaining without being patronising towards the contestants. Watching it is only disheartening when you realise that these kids will more than certainly do better in life than I ever will, the cynical guy who hides behind a laptop slagging off television programs. It is like the day you go to a football and the boy upfront is younger than you. Celtic are never going to sign me, are they?
Just because they are young doesn't mean that some of them aren't tools of the highest order, though. Names allude me at this moment, but the girl "whose parents are both artists, her brother is an artist and has been going to art exhibitions" has the capability to change an art exhibition turn from a exhibit of an artist into an exhibit of herself. It is quite a talent, as is the ability to think the exact opposite of what her facial reactions suggest. I hope she goes on tonight's show. As for contestants I like, there is the "wee Scottish girl" for nationalistic reasons, and Arjen, the human calculator. The most interesting aspect of the show is how different people can look, even though they are all roughly the same age. Tim looks like he could be some of the other kids' father. Sadly, if they are to succeed in business, they will probably all have to gain a thick skin and a twat exterior. And seeing that occur on television to young people is kind of disheartening.
And finally, Blue Mountain State. It's hard to explain, but it's about the antics of a college football team. It is the intellectual equivalent of chinning a can of beer and then ramming it against your forehead. It's online, so you can find it somewhere, if you want to know what that feels like.
DC
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